I am in the apartment of the fabulous Cesar and Maria after arriving by train from Derby. Jaysus, I tell youse boyos, it be daft old crowded with all the gomey folk making their way to the friggin shops. Half strange they be looking at you as if you had a cow tied your shoe laces on the back of a wheel barrow.
I don´t normally write like I have done in these previous two sentences but Maria and Cesar insisted that I confuse you as much as is humanly possible. Perhaps you should not be their friends because they are so cruel. Well, no, they are lovely. At the moment they are trying to learn how to play rugby. Their appartment is very clean and their salad was yummy.
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